Hillbilly Elegy, Indeed
Trump will get his, but it won't be "perfect"
I’m numb, and my head is throbbing. This morning, after another restless night, I felt a palpable shift in the world’s algorithm. Donald Trump is president-elect. I assumed that as Election Day faded into the rearview mirror of my mind’s eye, life would return to a semblance of normalcy.
I was mistaken. After all, it’s only Saturday. Funny how time stands still when the unfathomable occurs. And, what’s unfathomable is that my former fellow Americans voted to put a criminal back in the White House because the notion of a woman of color as President of the United States was a non-starter.
To hell with them all. To hell with the airheaded white women who voted for Donald Trump, to hell with the “strong,” black men, whose dicks went limp at the notion of a “Madam President” and to hell with the “vermin” who, in return for their vote, will get a one-way ticket out of the U.S. Good. As another writer declared, “I’ll help them pack.”
Sometimes, I can be horrible. It’s my crutch when I’m feeling scared, like now. There’s much to be frightened of and it hasn’t even begun. “It.” That’s incorrect. I should say he. Although Trump has given us a taste of what his particular brand of hell will look and feel like, the worst is yet to come.
Like many, I’ve been moving around in a thick, mental pea soup of questions and recriminations. “How could this happen?” and“ “You bastards. It’s your fault.”
It could happen and it did. The better question would be “Why?” After everything we’ve heard and seen of the Monster Who Would Be King, then why in hell could anyone of sane mind, vote for this grifter? This peddler of overpriced, cheap goods who stole from a children’s cancer charity.
“You good, Christian white people out there, can you answer my question? How in the name of everything that supposedly is holy, could you vote for a felon and sexual predator? Many of you have daughters, don't you? How would you feel if she were raped and as a result, became pregnant?”
Bring on the baby showers.
I’ll just put this out there: For those of you who are on the fence, the world doesn’t need more kids. Not until whoever is squirting them out can figure out how to raise someone that, when they vote for the first time, can sign their name.
Yes, Biden should have pulled out of the race, sooner. Yes, the left should have toned down the “woke” rhetoric. Yes to that and more but Harris had little time to campaign. Given that, she did a remarkable job. But the fact remains, that Trump has been twice impeached and has multiple indictments hanging over his head, for chrissake. Voters chose a felon and rapist over a woman. And, a woman of color. Hard pass, right, Christians?
Anger. It burns hot and unrelenting in my gut. A side effect of Election Poison as I’m calling it. I’m mad at everyone who didn’t vote for Kamala Harris or didn’t vote at all. There’s nothing messy or middle-of-the-road about my feelings, or lack thereof, for these ignorant, ultimately dangerous, dupes.
Fuck them all.
JD Vance. Remember him? The junior senator from Ohio and one-shot author who demeans and defames women at every opportunity? You know, the same guy who said Haitians in his own state were stealing and eating people’s pets. Well, this turd is going to be Vice President, meaning if something happens to Trump, like a heart attack or stroke, the Universe willing, his repellent ass will take the Bloated Yam’s place in the Oval Office.
My stomach just rolled over at the thought. It does that a lot, lately.
Something tells me, and I’ve heard others say the same, that Vance may not want to wait for Trump’s fat ass to drop dead before stepping into his sleazy, “Never Surrender” gold sneakers. Speaking of which, how can the MAGA schmucks on the lower end of the economic scale afford a $450 shoe? Do they lay off the Oxy to save up, or what?
I know I’m being derivative but I don’t give a crap. And, I digress. If you’ll recall, the former chubby-cheeked Vance (in his evil cherub phase) once referred to Trump as a “moral disaster” and “America’s Hitler.” Yet, Trump chose him anyway, at the behest of his coked-out scumbag son, Eric. Or was it Don, Jr.? I can’t keep the shitheels straight.
So, in my opinion, Vance may do the flip-flop once again, and stick it to his boss so he can be anointed King of the United States of America. Hell. That sounds so quaint now, doesn’t it? Never have we been less united.
Let’s think about this. Trump has proven by both word and deed, that he is mentally unstable. His campaign was based on hate and division, supported by psychobabble that his base gobbled up like those aforementioned Oxys. Physically, he’s not the poster boy for a healthy lifestyle, either, but, it’s his mental acuity or lack of it, that may lead to his well-deserved and long-awaited downfall.
The 25th Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America is a contingency plan, of sorts, created to fill executive “vacancies” in the administration.
There are four sections to the Amendment, but the one we’re most interested in reads as follows, courtesy of the National Constitution Center:
Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.
In simpler terms, this means that if Trump becomes even more batshit crazy than he already is, Congress may rule that he is unable to fulfill his duties, and the Vice President will become President. I imagine that JD Vance, being the hypocritical, morally bankrupt individual he is, would eagerly put such machinations in play. I’ll take it a step further and say this his coup is in the works as I write this.
And, unfortunately, folks, we won’t be able to raise a glass to that as Vance is as poisonous to this country as Trump. We can’t win for losing.
Even a faux hillbilly like JD Vance can be dangerous and more deceitful than even Trump because Donald Trump is an imbecile. One of his former Wharton professors, Dr. William Kelley, famously said that Trump was “The dumbest Goddam student I ever had."
As his Mamaw says in Vance’s novel, Hillbilly Elegy, “I coulda done better. But you, you got to decide, you want to be somebody or not?”
Oh, does he ever.
© Sherry McGuinn, 2024. All Rights Reserved.